I’m looking for a new job. Don’t worry I left my last one already, so this isn’t some crazy digital confession that will see me fired, like that girl who openly slagged off her boss on Facebook and got caught. No, I’m freelancing at the moment which always sounds dubious, but I am actually doing work, albeit from the comfort of my kitchen table.

So rather than look for a new 9 to 5, why not just work on your own if you can, or Hell go whole hog on the blog full time? If honest, it’s because I get lonely – there I said it. How codependent do I sound? Yep, 12hrs by myself, day-in, day-out, gets me a bit down. Bloggers tell me, do you never get lonely too? Someone cue the violins! lonely_girl_holding_balloon_by_kindiykhan-d5yyk1kAnyway, there you go that’s me – some love the freedom of freelance, but I want a Christmas party with office politics, soggy canapés and Lambrini – and yes I know that’s ridiculous.

So the other day I met with a recruitment consultant and he gave me two key pieces of advice – 1. Learn Swedish and learn Swedish fast. Now, unless you too happen to be a freelance marketer and writer based in Sweden, then you’re probably best ignoring that particular piece of advice (but call me we should go for “fika” and “pratar” the “Svenska” if you are) – and 2. Think about what YOU want. What do YOU want next, out of YOUR next role.


I have spent my whole being told that “I want, does not get” – thanks for that Mum. So, I can tell you what I’m good at, what I’m not so good at, and at times, even what I’m great at. But what the Hell do I want? (other than Lambrini in mid-December that is).


My sister has just graduated from university and is also looking for roles – how ironic that with six years between us, we are doing the same thing at the same time. She wants a job in her graduated subject, she has no salary expectations nor any experience to cloud her judgement – she’s passionate about what studied, so she wants a job in that field, full stop. So, I really believe she will get that job – (full stop).

But what about those of us who’ve got a few years under our belts? Suddenly the bright lights and glamour of terms like “fashion”, “luxury” “music industry” don’t mean so much. Maybe “maternity cover”, “medical care” or “pension scheme” seems more important. “Bonus structure”, “shares”, “flexi-time” and “good commute” are how we’re sold on a role.

Have you watched the Ted Talk with Larry Smith about “Why you will fail to have a great career?” – the long and short of it is that we end up in bad jobs because we fear our passions.  “No matter how many people tell you that if you want a great career, pursue your passion, pursue your dreams…you will decide not to do it,” he explains. We decide to opt for security over love. 

But how do you identify your passion in the first place? In the words of Whoopi “Don’t ask me about being a writer. If when you wake up in the morning and you can think of nothing but writing…then you’re a writer.” So if you wake up and want to sing, code computers, skateboard or write – then do it. Do what YOU want to.



So here’s what I think. I want to blog – in my free time. I’m passionate about it, but I’m passionate about other things too. So here I am again, knocking at the 9 to 5 door, but that is ok – because I want to be. I want to work with a team of people, who are dynamic and passionate about their jobs, who support one another and collaborate on tasks.  Somewhere that is creative, but also commercially minded, where people can be bold with their ideas and ambition is encouraged, but never at the detriment of those around you. It might not be a “wild” and “romantic” passion, but it’s what I want – phew.

So that’s what I want next – if you know somewhere with those credentials I’ll send you a CV.

Now you tell me. What do YOU want? And I will try to give you a helping hand with it too.

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  • Kb

    I can definitely relate to this. I’m a freelancer currently wrapped up in a blanket in my bed because it’s cold. I’m going down more of a digital direction because it’s what I think about all the time, I know what I want but can’t quite put my finger on it. Definitely need to start watching TED talks.

    August 22nd, 2014 9:51
    • girlinmenswear

      Thanks for your comment Kristabel! There should be an affordable, freelance space where bloggers can work together so they have that “team” environment without compromising on their passion – Ha, maybe we should make it happen! Soph x

      August 22nd, 2014 9:55
  • Ruby Lee

    Wow, loved this post. It’s such an obvious message yet many of us choose to ignore what we want and do things because other people have told us to or because we’re scared. Thanks for inspiring me this morning!

    Ruby, http://www.thefashionantlers.com

    August 22nd, 2014 10:38
    • girlinmenswear

      Ruby thank you so much for your comment, it’s so good to hear that others feel the same way. Have a lovely weekend and here’s to more inspirational moments. Soph x

      August 22nd, 2014 14:01
  • Maz

    Hit the nail on the head here. It’s scary to take a step back and try and figure out what you really want to do versus getting swept away by the obvious next steps life chucks at you. Here’s to minimizing those regrets at 70+.. Nows the time to be brave! X

    August 22nd, 2014 12:13
    • girlinmenswear

      Thanks so much for your comment Maz – here’s to being brave. x

      August 22nd, 2014 14:00
  • El

    Great post. We spend most of our lives at work and it’s important that we reflect on whether it is what we want to do or what we put up with, because before we know it we’re 50 and telling our kids we wish we’d done what we’d ACTUALLY wanted to do *shudders*. Keep us posted on the Swedish lessons.

    August 22nd, 2014 14:02
    • girlinmenswear

      Thanks for your comment El – will let you know how I get on with the ol’ Svenska. x

      August 22nd, 2014 15:34
  • Kirbybee

    This post has really struck a cord with me. In a little over six months I’ll be throwing in a relatively secure job, albeit in a field I have experience in but no desire to continue working in, and moving to the other side of the world. To do what? I’m not quite sure, but I think that’s kind of the point. This is me trying to work out what I want, and how I want to get it. I suppose I’m trying to create the change I want to see, have the adventures that I lay awake at night wondering about and maybe, finally, write those words that feel locked within.
    Thanks for writing this and good luck with the Swedish!
    kb xx

    August 23rd, 2014 13:59
    • girlinmenswear

      Thanks so much for your comment KB. That’s amazing that you are going travelling to the other side of the world – it takes a lot of courage to pick up and go somewhere new. I look forward to hearing all about it via your blog – best of luck to you! Soph x

      August 23rd, 2014 18:01

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